


"What do you think about Scribe Haylen?"

by Julia_Danse



Series: The Knight and the Paladin - A series of Oneshots [13]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Anger, Cambridge College Square, Cambridge Police Station, F/M, Frustration, Haylen - Freeform, Kathryn - Freeform, One-Sided Attraction, Rain, Sun Dawn, danse - Freeform, getting drunk, rhys - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:45:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19759933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_Danse/pseuds/Julia_Danse
Summary: Danse asks Kat what she thinks about the scribe.It didn't turn out as both had thought.





	"What do you think about Scribe Haylen?"

**Author's Note:**

> I just began to replay Fallout 4 (for what? the 5th or 6th time already? xD)  
> And I always side with the Brotherhood of Steel.  
> This time, the flirt after "The Haylen Talk" failed.  
> Yes, it hurt. Damn. Fucking. Much!
> 
> So, here's what my mind made out from this situation.

Knight Kay and Paladin Danse were on a cleaning mission which Knight Rhys asked them to do. They shot down the last feral ghouls in College Square and it’s train station. Kat was wiping away the beads of sweat in her face, accidentally smearing blood all over it. “Knight, you’ve got something on your face.” Danse chuckled as Kat rubbed her face frantically, smearing it further. “Here, let me help you.”, he then said pulling out a handkerchief from his power armor and began to gently wipe at her face. He was too concentrated with cleaning her face to realize how Kat stared at him, unable to move.  
  
She still couldn’t believe that a human being wearing power armor could be this gentle. She swallowed as he took a closer look at her and then he suddenly smiled. “All clean again.”, he simply said, stuffing the blood stained piece of fabric away. Kat’s cheeks flushed, she still wasn’t able to even move an inch, still staring at the Paladin. “Are you okay, soldier?” She blinked. “I... I’m fine. Thanks.”, she stuttered. She shook her head and scolded herself silently. Her whole body shuddered as she felt how the air between them was changing.  
  
She was part of Reconnaissance Squad Gladius for a few months now and the bond between her and Danse grew strong over the time. She even got him to crack jokes from time to time. They had a lot of fun and grew to be very good friends. A few weeks ago they had a very personal talk about Danse’s feelings towards bonding with the people around him. That he never had such a strong one to someone like her, after Cutler... " _It's a good feeling, but it frightens me all the same. Having a bond with someone then losing them...it changes you._ ", he said to her back then. She told him that it wouldn’t be the same with her, that she cared too much for him to let it happen. His eyes widened and he told her that he needed to think about it.  
  
Back then, the air felt exactly the same, Kat thought. Somehow she knew that he wanted to talk to her about something. She heard him clear his throat before he spoke. “If you have the time to talk now, I’d still like to know what you think about Scribe Haylen.” Oh, that again... He tried to talk about Haylen with her before.  
  
“Haylen? Why, is something wrong with her?”  
“No, not at all. She’s doing well. I simply wanted to talk to you about her, but I wanted to know what you thought about her first.”  
“She’s as dedicated as they come. A real team player.”  
“I couldn’t agree more. But I wasn’t looking for an evaluation of her performance as a scribe, I wanted to know what you thought of Haylen... as a person.”  
  
So this is where the wind was blowing from... Kat felt a pang in her guts, knowing that this wouldn’t be an easy talk.  
  
“’As a person?’ It’s not like you to ask me something like that.”  
“No it’s not. The truth is, I’m worried about her. Since you and I are getting along so well, I felt like I could confide in you about it... to get your honest opinion.”  
  
And then Danse told Kat about how he had to order her to administer an overdose of painkillers to a fellow soldier. He got shot pretty bad from raiders and Haylen was by his side for two days and two nights, fighting for his life. He also told Kat that Haylen came to him later that evening while he was on watch. That she collapsed into Danse’s arms crying. First Kat felt sorry for the young scribe. Danse then told her that he held her for a while before Haylen kissed him on the cheek, thanked him and that she then walked back into the police station. Kat’s stomach clenched, just like her fists. Was she jealous?  
  
He kept talking, not noticing the change in Kat’s behavior. He said something about pushing Haylen too hard and that’s the reason he was worried about the people under his command. She sighed.  
  
“Haylen will be fine. It’s you that I’m worried about.”  
“Me?”, he asked surprised by Kat’s answer.  
“I see what you’re getting at. I guess I never thought of it that way.”  
His face hardened.  
“Look, four soldiers... over half of my team, are gone. Each one of them died because of decisions that I made.” His hands clenched into fists. Kat suddenly wanted to hug him. She could feel how bad he must be feeling, having such doubts.  
“How can anyone have confidence in me anymore? _Hell,_ how can I have confidence in myself?”  
  
Kat looked at the ground, dust circled around the tip of her boot as she scratched the floor with it. Then she looked up, speaking quietly. “Would it make you feel better if I told you that I believed in you?” Danse looked at her, his features softening as he said softly “Actually, it does.” He scratched the back of his neck. “It’s comforting to know that I can speak to you as more than just your commanding officer.” They both blushed a little.  
  
“Does this mean you’d be there to hold me if I ever needed it?”  
“I hardly think that would be appropriate, soldier. I don’t want my moment with Haylen to give you the wrong idea. We’re strictly friends.”  
  
_Ouch! That fucking hurt…_  
  
Kat’s gaze dropped. It felt like a thousand needles were pinching at her heart and she felt her eyes filling with tears. She turned around so that Danse couldn’t see her face. She began walking towards the exit almost sprinting out of there. “Where are you going, soldier?”, Danse called after her. She didn’t answer, power walking out of the old train station. Before she slammed the door into it’s hinges she heard the heavy foot steps of Danse, still calling for her.  
  
She was running now, the tears in her eyes a hindrance in seeing where her feet led her. Only a few minutes later the blue double door of the police station came into view. Her breath was ragged as she walk up the stairs and opened the door. She sniffed and wiped away the tears, rubbing at her eyes as she slowly walked into the station. Haylen and Rhys gladly weren’t in the main room. Kat went to her sleeping bag, searching her belongings for a bottle of Bourbon. She found it and silently walked into the next floor which led up to the roof.  
  
She didn’t need to walk to the front railing to hear Danse stomping into the compound. He muttered to himself but she wasn’t able to hear what exactly he was muttering. The closing of the double door told her that he went inside. She took a deep breath and eyed the bottle in her hand. She thought about drinking it right and now, but she also wanted to show herself, that she was safe so Danse didn’t have to wonder about that.  
  
She closed the roof door as silent as possible, making her way downstairs the same way. She heard the voices of Haylen and Danse. It sounded like they were arguing over something, or someone... She looked around the corner as their voices suddenly grew softer. Kat saw how Haylen held an arm of Danse, squeezing it. She saw the smile Danse smiled at Haylen and she almost slammed a fist into the wall. _Why in the name of Atom did she think that someone like Danse would have feelings for her?_ The bitterness in her took over and she stood up to walk back to the door. The stair she was standing on creaked and both Haylen and Danse looked to her. They only saw her hair flying as she ran upstairs, slamming the door to the roof shut.  
  
She was climbing on top of the small room and sitting down. The bottle in her hand shook as she opened it and spilled a bit of it’s content. Kat drank over a quarter of the bottle in one swig and wiped her mouth. The silent sobs she cried shook her whole body. Just a moment later the door opened again. “Kathryn?”, he asked into the darkness. She gave him no answer. She didn’t want to see or even talk to him right now. She could hear him walking underneath her, searching on where she could be. He called out for her again and again. Did he sound desperate? She didn’t know and shook her head. She heard him sigh and he walked back into the station.  
  
Half of the Bourbon was already gone as it began to rain. It was also cold but Kat didn’t mind it. The rain would clean her dirty skin and clear her mind. _Good luck on this one_... She thought, as drunk as she was. She didn’t know how long she sat there, but it must have been two or three hours. The door opened again. This time Danse looked up and found her there, sitting in the cold rainy night.  
  
“Would you please come down, soldier.”, he said, arms crossed in front of his chest. Kat looked down at him, eyes wide. He didn’t wear his power armor. “I c...can’t...”, she hiccuped. “And why is that so?” His voice sounded annoyed. “Be...because I...I’m toooo druuuunk...” She stood up and wobbled on the small roof. “God damnit! Stop walking or you’ll fall down.” She just laughed at this. “Why do you even care, huh?” Her voice was clear now, without any signs of slurring. “You wouldn’t catch me if I fall!” She stepped closer to the edge, the bottle of Bourbon still in her hand and drinking from it.  
  
“Kathryn, please stop. You’re just gonna hurt yourself. And I don’t think you want that, right?”  
“Why, Danse, huh? Why _shouldn’t_ I hurt myself?”  
“Because of the upcoming missions, for example? Or-” She cut him off.  
“Oooh if that’s all you can think about!”  
She suddenly began to scream. Danse rubbed his hands over his face, sighing heavily.  
“Would you please stop screaming at me? And please, come down and tell me what this is all about.”  
“Fine!”  
  
She yelped in surprise as her foot slipped on the wet ground and she fell backwards. Kat opened her eyes and didn’t feel any pain, but strong arms holding her. She looked up in the unreadable face of the Paladin. He let her down quickly and opened the door. Before she could walk past him he took the bottle out of her hand and threw it with full force over the whole compound where it shattered at a wall. Kat jumped at that but walked in silently. Danse then followed her, closing the door behind him. They both left a path of water droplets behind them.  
  
Kat sat down at a chair dripping on the floor beneath her when a towel hit her face. Danse tossed it over to her, rubbing his own wet hair into another one. Then he walked over to her putting a bottle of purified water in front of her. She frowned and looked at the bottle, then up to him. “Drink.”, he simply said. To his surprise she obeyed and he nodded. She drank down the complete bottle and put it back onto the table in front of her. Danse still stood in the middle of the room waiting for her to speak. She didn’t. He sighed and sat down opposite of her.  
  
Neither Haylen nor Rhys were around at this time of the night and Kat was sure they both were already sleeping. She looked down into her lap where she fiddled with her fingers. “Why do you even bother about ‘what this is all about?’”, Kat said voice hushed. “You don’t even care...” She looked away with tears brimming in her eyes. “Did you really forget what we were talking about earlier?”, he asked. “No, but why would you care on what I’m doing?!” She got angry. She looked at him, face a mask of anger covered in her tears. The Paladin ran his hands through his face and then his hair and groaned.  
  
“Because you’re important.”  
“To who? You? Or the fucking Brotherhood of fucking Steel?”  
She wasn’t loud but Danse looked like she slapped him across the face. “Yeah, that’s _exactly_ what I thought, _Paladin_!” Kat eventually stood up and walked to her bedroll and flopped down. She muzzled herself so deep into the roll that not even one strand of her brown hair was visible. Only her sobs were audible as she cried herself to sleep.  
  
Danse didn’t know what to think of all this. He only knew that she was weird since they spoke about Haylen. Then it hit him like a fright train. But that... that couldn’t be! Why? He thought back to all the conversations they had. She often flirted with him but he never interpreted something in it. More like he brushed it off. He often said _‘There’s Brotherhood and everything else. Nothing in between.’_ He looked down at her sleeping form. Somehow he felt a pang in his chest. He wanted to vomit but didn’t know why. He ran down into the garage and opened the door just in time to vomit directly in front of it. With a bit of luck the rain would wash it away.  
  
He needed to sit down. His whole body shook at the realization what Kat meant. God why was he so blind? She _liked_ him! Did he like her too? As a friend, of course. He adored her for her combat skills and how much she already took his lessons to heart. But more? He didn’t know. But he knew for sure that there were a lot of people in the Brotherhood which wouldn’t say no to him if he’d say a word. He never thought about fraternization, he was a model soldier and he was fucking proud of it! But now? Now he just felt like shit. Realizing that he hurt someone with just his words, someone he slowly realized he _fucking cared_ about more than just as brother or sister in arms.  
  
He needed to apologize to her, right in the morning after she woke up. For now he’d let her sleep. She would have a huge ass hangover in a few hours and he sure as hell wouldn’t take her out for missions in this state. He stood up, still a little shaky but with every step he took his walking became more stable. He walked to his own bedroll and flopped down. First he sat there looking at her, until he chose to put down two bottles of water next to her. Then he went back and laid down but no matter how hard he tried to sleep, it wouldn’t happen. He sighed as he rolled back onto his back, staring at the ceiling.  
  
The hours went by and the Paladin was already up and outside. It was the most quiet time, just right before the sun was dawning. The sky was mixed in deep blue with light stripes of orange and pink. The air smelled fresh and clean. The soft rumble of the door startled him out of his thoughts. He’d expect Haylen or Rhys to be awake but _not_ her. Well, not yet to be honest. He looked at her, studying her face. She looked just as tired as he imagined, her eyes blood shot from crying, her hair was a mess and she sniffed. “Kathryn.”, he said, voice quiet. “Danse.”, she rasped.  
  
He felt the same pang as before. She didn’t look at him, she only stood a few meters away from him, staring at the horizon as the sun slowly crawled out to brighten the upcoming day.  
  
“We need to talk.”  
“No.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because there’s nothing to talk about.”  
“Don’t fool me. You’re angry and I know why.”  
“Oh you do? Well, congrats, but I don’t want to talk!”  
“Listen-”  
“I said _NO_!”  
“Kathryn-”  
“Thanks for ruining this beautiful morning, _Paladin_!”  
  
There. Again... She walked back inside leaving him with the question why she did pronounce his title like she did, again... For the love of steel, that woman drove him crazy! He took his time to collect himself again and walked back into the police station. Just as he wanted to open the door it flew open. Kat stormed out fully clothed and packed.  
  
“What are you doing?”, Danse asked her.  
“Nothing of your concern.”  
“Then tell me, _Knight_! Why the hell am I concerned then?”  
She stopped and blinked at him.  
“I’m leaving.” And she began to walk past him, or better said, she tried.  
Danse grabbed her arm and she spun around on her heels.  
“Let. Me. Go.”, she pressed out every word angrily.  
“Why should I?”, his voice was low and dangerous.  
  
He did see the fist come and grabbed it with his other hand pulling it down with force. Kat stumbled into his chest and she cried out. Her eyes were filled with tears of anger. “LET ME GO!”, she now screamed. “WHY?”, he screamed back, tightening the grip around her. “You are hurting me...” Her voice was hushed now, the sobs loud as her strength gave out and she slowly slid down onto the ground. Danse sat down next to her, still keeping a tight grip on her. “Please, Danse. Stop gripping so hard, you’ll bruise me.” he immediately loosened his grip but didn’t retreat from letting her go completely.  
  
She looked up into his brown eyes. Her own blue ones looking like they’d leak an ocean full of emotions. He couldn’t look at her and instead looked at a point behind her. “Why won’t you let me go?”, she asked through her sobs. “Because...” He forced himself to look at her again. “...because I care about you.” Kat let out a dry laugh. “Seriously, stop lying-” “Shut up and listen to me already!”, he snapped at her. She tried to crawl away from him, and Danse let her do so. He was exhausted. “You gave me something to think about, you know?” She looked at him, listening. They now both sat at the stairs facing each other. “I never realized that what you tried to do was really meant. That you care more about me than like a brother in arms. I thought about it the whole night. And I feel so sorry that all this had to happen... Just to realize that I ignored you all this time. That I didn’t see you as what you really are...” He absently began to fidget with his fingers, picking at a little piece of skin on one his fingers.  
  
“Then tell me. What am I?” She sat up a little more straight, back aching from the slumped over position she sat in. “You are what I value the most. I never knew how much I cared about you until tonight. I was afraid, Kathryn. Afraid that I lost you after you stormed out of the train station. I was afraid as you sat up on the roof, all drunk and not watching where you put your feet. I’m just relieved that I found you in the right time...”  
  
“Why am I still not believing you?”, Kat’s voice was calm and almost non audible. “You sure will be the death of me one day...”, Danse sighed. “If you won’t believe my words, then maybe this.” And before Kat was able to do anything he scooped her up into his arms, looked her deep into the eyes and walked her back inside. Her heart suddenly raced. To her surprise he brought her to the cells and put her down in one, closing it. “I will let you out if you’re finally clear in that stubborn brain of yours. I’m sorry, but you need to understand that I mean no harm to you.” He walked out of the room leaving her startled and sitting in an open cell. He just closed it but didn’t use a key to really put her in.  
  
It took her a while to settle down and think of what he had said. And soon she felt how tired she actually was. Minutes later she was sleeping again. As she woke up later the door of the cell was open, but no Paladin was around. Would she try to leave or would she do as he said and think about what he said? She searched in her brain, tried to remember how his eyes spoke the truth while his mouth said the words to it. She finally admitted that he wasn’t lying at her. And so she kept her ass sitting where it was, waiting for the Paladin to return.  
  
Danse came back to an open cell, Kat still sitting inside, eyes fixated on him. He smiled a little, feeling relieved that she didn’t turn on him and leave. He handed her a fresh bottle of water. “How are you feeling?”, he asked her. “Much better.”, she said taking the water with a grateful nod and gulping it down. Danse sat down at a chair and waited for her to step out of the cell. His eyes were still fixated on hers. She looked a bit better, he thought. He nodded at her and she finally moved out of the cell. “You know, I didn’t use a key as I closed the door. You could have stepped out of it any time.” Kat was baffled and her jaw dropped a little. “What, why?”, she stammered out. “Because I trust you. I trust in every decision you make...”   
  
Before he was able to say more she walked over to him, placed a small kiss on his cheek and walked out.  
  
“I believe you, Paladin.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I know that I didn't make Kat to talk "The Haylen Talk".  
> Let's just say they never talked about this again... >_>'
> 
> Thanks for reading (maybe commenting?) and leaving kudos :-)


End file.
